Nothing interested has happened in my life lately, which suits me just fine.
In fact, that’s exactly how I like it.
I have to think of some new painting to paint. I’m quite skilful at painting hands and that’s how I know I’m not an artificial intelligence because allegedly they make creepy hands.
I think there is a certain artistic quality to the creepiness of AI generated art and movies like low key horror quality.
I don’t like AI that much it’ll come for my job and I had just started to feel like a competent developer but times change and I’m being painted into a corner and I see no way out. It is only a matter of time before it starts painting hands too and then what?
Quite early in the Monday for me to have drank five cups of coffee already. It’s not even lunch yet. But you do what you have to do to make it through the working day in one piece.
It’s been snowing miserably outside, snubbing my jogging plans and covering all the spring progress in a blanket of ice cold snow. This is always the case that for every two steps forward, there’s often one step back.
Have you ever heard Elvis? He’s actually pretty good.
Especially the one I like to call “Devil in the sky” mmHmm. It’s a timeless classic about how looks deceive.
Yesterday I had this super intensive headache all day. It’s like that a few times each month or so. Likely it’s cause I think so much. My brain is too small for all of my big thoughts, and it’s imprisoned by my skull and this creates of course this pressure from time to time. That’s the scientific explanation.
It’s like that that you have to pay a price for all things.
The yin comes with the yang.
One exception to this rule is my handsome looks. I payed nothing for them.
Maybe in a past life or in the next one or in the hereafter.
Maybe the price I pay is I become a devil in the sky.
I’ve baked a lot of pizzas today. Some Italian classics like frutti di mare and the one with banana, curry and tuna. (I don’t know the Italian name for it unfortunately) to name a few.
So I been doing that. Been out in the sun running and it was very warm it felt like spring and I wore shorts.
Days like this are special not only because they never come again, but because they make life worth living.
Today’s been and an ordinary day in all aspects except work which has been far below average in every measurable way. It’s fair to say that I have lost interest in that one and so now I just use my strong psyche to make it through the working day.
It’s like I’m between chapters in my life; like I am about to start a new chapter and this one is ending in much the same way as many Stephen King books does: like dwindling in some anticlimactic way like the ending wasn’t thought of beforehand and the strings tied in some very ugly knot or something.
Maybe semi good like the green mile. I liked that book a lot. The ending wasn’t the best part.
Don’t know how my ending look as it’s not happened yet.
My new job ain’t started yet.
We shall see.
I wasn’t prepared for all these emotions that I have had with regards to my work and the fiasco with the lay offs. Think it’s cause I really used to care about that place. Like I could picture myself working there past retirement age.
Went to my new job today for some cake. It was super nice.
Picked up part two of Discworld; the one after “Colour of Magic”, while in the big city, and some levain bread. I put that one in the hood of my special hooded wilderness jacket, because I went without backpack.
So I had one Discworld book on either side pocket, and some artist brushes, some special ones with very pointy points for high precision painting, which I also bought. And of course the loaf of bread as previously described.
At lunch I had a very interesting discussion with a great friend from a job we worked at together decades ago and a new friend whose name didn’t stick. He had a special interest in cryptographic algorithms but were only writing API:s these days. Anyhow there were some very intelligent intellectual discussions of course and again I can’t really recall but it was very pleasant. One highlight was all government agencies dumping encrypted traffic for decades onto storage for decryption possibly with quantum computers in the future. That’s a scary one.
Discworld series because it’s my BFF:s favourite of all times and it’s something I been planning to read so now the time is ripe.
Always people brag about books like this: (for a classic, say some Dostojevskij or Camus or whatever):, they’d say that they first read the book in their teens, that’s always when they read all of the classics for the first time. If they read a classic in a greater age it’s always a re read.
Think I could count all classics I read in my teens on a single finger it was that “of mice and men” because it was the shortest one for a school assignment. I read only comic books like Conan and Lobo and harlequin books. The books because I had a hunger for being loved like them ladies in those books were.
Here is a pregnant thought: there is in this day and age a popular belief that everything is all about communication. Like if some political party loses, the fault is never that nobody wants the policies they offering; it’s always that they’ve failed to communicate their benefits enough.
Similarly it’s popular that people should say thank you instead of apologising, like “thank you for waiting” instead of “sorry I’m late”.
Furthermore no company ever increases prices, rather they “adjust“ them.
When companies use the bad times to strengthen their grip and control of their workforce, and mandate them back to the office, they are doing them a favour, because apparently that’s where the Magic happens. At the office.
I’ve never seen that.
It’s like they all have a firm belief that as long as they get to coat it in enough amount of thick layers of bullshit, people will swallow everything.
Sitting outside in the sun, cup of coffee in my hand, I hear birds chirping, dogs barking, and the neighbour’s rooster Lennart is crowing in sort of an obsessive way like he’s trying to make a point. This time our own rooster is silent for a change.
Our own one is on a very thin ice right now because he’s very mean to people, but a gentleman to the hens, which is the most important thing. Still I’ve felt him biting me thru my new jeans several times and that just makes me think him delusional, because I’m like fifty times his size or something. Guess he doesn’t see it that way.
Anyhow I’m having a mighty fine moment. Another one of them that you store away like a jewel in the brain to look back at later.
It don’t take much, a cup of coffee and some sunlight, but at the same time it takes everything.
I’ve not been very efficient lately, it’s been a strange mess in my head and it’s been bugged out on the painting and writing and working and basically thinking in general.
The only thing I’ve been very successful at this week has been eating. I’ve eaten A LOT of stuff.
The death sin for me I think is gluttony. I just eat until there’s nothing left.
Maybe it’s I’ve got an unhealthy relationship to food or I’m just in a bugged out state of mind where the thinking ain’t successful.
Not sure but not to worry, I’ll push through cause I’m very strong.
I will endure the job until the next one starts and have nothing more to say on that subject.
It’s Monday tomorrow which made me think that thought, the sort of nonexcitenent one can feel about such things. It’s just a job.
For some people it’s like this that they go every day to a job they do not enjoy. Some people don’t have something to get back from work to either; so they end up going from one form of torment to another.
Nobody waiting at home.
That’s a sad thought, that some people spend the bulk of their life like that.
It’s cheerful to think about those less fortunate.
Some people (other than the other other people) cannot enjoy themselves knowing others aren’t enjoying themselves. Like for example I’ve come across people in several occasions who are very negative to Christmas, because they think extra much about those other other people who have nobody to celebrate with and therefore commit suicide in their solitarity and others who stare too much down the bottle and become abusive to their spouses, during the holidays.
I’m not sure which point I want to make in this post. On the one hand it’s a good thing to care about those stricken by misery, on the other it’s not very helpful to them just to use that as argument to not enjoy Christmas?