The happy place

This here is the space into which I put some of the thoughts which have been gathering inside my head. Mostly mundane stuff as I am not that original

Hello the full moon shone alone today on the deep dark blue sky, like a silver coin.

except silver coins do not radiate light, but neither does the moon.

I’m picturing the type of coins one might have on the tongue or even on the eyelids, I’m sure it would feel cool to have such coins on there, when paying passage on the river Styx.

Except when you are dead, you are cold too, and you don’t feel anything

But still the moon coins you would feel, I am sure.

So there I stand lazily, letting the dogs pee on the snow just outside the door

It’s more yellow now than white

Not the door, the snow.

And it’s cold so we all agree to quickly return outside to the soft warm bed

Maybe I shall be able to sleep tonight

Having finally called a toad a toad

And for how terrible it feels

Still and yet a great relief sets on me tonight

As I lay here guarded by this silver coin

I am feeling happy right now, don’t know but I have missed this feeling a lot!

I am metamorphosed back to my normal happy state

Fuck yeah I made it!

My daughter she’s got a green plant, we bought it off IKEA; a palm like tree which looks to be shooting green fireworks when it’s sprouting it’s leaves!

I got a plant just like that when I was about her age. God knows what’d become of me otherwise.

It somehow grew with little to no sunlight into a formidable tree-like giant bush, almost touching the ceiling.

If my tree could grow into something this beautiful from such little care, think then about my daughter’s, which my wife watered already!

They think it’ll wither and die, because in my daughter’s room the blinds are always shut, But I know it won’t!!

🪴

here is the so called elephant text, a pretty good one with a powerful elephant metaphor which came to me, just like that!

I followed an impulse to remove it, because it gave the impression that I was offended, but I was!

And rightly so! I reserve the right at any and all times to be: OFFENDED!

🤌🤌


My face looks like it’s got the texture of an elephant’s; with wrinkles. That’s a recurring thought which strikes me lately when I see my brightly lit face in the bathroom mirror. It’s been a gradual change which suddenly reaches a certain threshold, and then you see it clearly. But not before!

The kind aunt called me earlier today to tell me I’m wrong about my childhood. Apparently she’s a subject matter expert.

But I’ve become an elephant. Elephants never forget.

I was therefore able to take what she said with a grain of salt fortunately.

She hadn’t seen my metamorphosis.

That was the last time I referred to her as the kind aunt, though.

So everything changes

I am working now, don’t have time to write

I have slept poorly it is however THURSDAY soon the weekend will be upon us!! Take heed!

I feel my soft yoga body and I would like to think that all is good

I wrote a really strong elephant post yesterday but was stricken by an impulse to delete it

Not entirely sure why?

I will write it again some day

Maybe it felt too personal but that hasn’t stopped me before?

I just say ”fuck it” and post; that’s why everyone loves this blog !

Anyway I better get back to work now, I am sure Windows updates are through

The sun shines warm and bright through the blinds, and yet outside snot freezes inside the nose with each inhale of the air, which feels fresh — even though the horizon is lined with factories spewing their gray clouds in the atmosphere.

I’m reading in the newspapers today about the protests in Iran; how corpses are stored in ice cream trucks.

What a horrible nightmare!

I am not quite sure what to make of all this.

I might once have thought I did, but I don’t.

another week cycle is nearing its end. It’s too cold for crocs outside, where the half moon stands pale and alone on a dark blue sky. The white ground is covered by hard-packed snow. Slippery like a sprung trap.

Because of my fitness class, where I arrived last minute to grab the last step board — there weren’t any spots left, except at the very front where you see the instructor only from the side; ”it doesn’t matter”, I said, ”I’m so good at this” — I got a mild headache. There wasn’t any time to fill my bottle.

And I have done some laundry

Some things I am thinking about is that my brain and my feelings have been running out of sync for a long time. Either I realise that I should be angry, instead I have a guilty conscience. Other times I feel strong reactions in my gut long before my brain understands why.

It’s exactly like in Neon Genesis Evangelion: an Eva pilot might face smilar synchronisation problems when running the Eva Unit! Sometimes the pilot is even rejected.

It’s exactly like this right now.

But that’s just how it is.

I’ll try to feel a bit sorry for myself now.

I think I have too much going for me to succeed.

I’m the luckiest man I know!

We’re watching the road. It’s not a feel-good movie. Outside big flakes of snow fall slowly in loose heaps, but we’re inside.

It’s warm!

We’ve invited the neighbours for some 🇮🇹 Italian food. I made the pizza dough last night. They’ll be here in about an hour.

I will start baking soon. With Eros Ramazzotti on the boom blaster.

Maybe I’ll have a glass of wine, or a beer.

And the two dogs play happily in the snow !!

And the RGB lights from the computer illuminate the room where we will do the taxes tomorrow.

And it feels so strange. I’m sorry for how wrong… for how weird it’s become— that. It’s like some t

Anyway

Isn’t life so incredibly rich?

Well, hello there! It’s Friday and I hear the sound of flames in the fireplace as I lie now on the yellow sofa with the dogs resting by my side.

And I have my health. Some people equate taking care of themselves with going frequently to the gym and drinking ridiculous amounts of water. That is a scam, I think, because self care is to be found in this french bakery where they have croissants.

In my youth, I — a handsome young man with a friendly demeanour, having a cigarette behind my ear (unlit) — was working as a terminal worker sorting mail or driving the forklift. I’d unload trailers or train wagons and there were these glass shelters where we would smoke cigarettes and drink vending-machine coffee while waiting for these various vehicles to arrive.

There one easter I talked to this greek guy in his forties, built like a tank. He said through his thick mustasch that instead of candy, we should’ve gotten fruit or even sandwiches, but not candy.

Some time later, at the gym, he busted his back, and I never saw him again!

There’s this pub just a stone throw away where my wife and I go sometimes for a Guinness, or like yesterday, two.

It’s the new version of myself: a bakery bread eating city man with clipped toe nails who does yoga. A type of artist with a wide stance and a lazy eye.

I love 🇫🇷 France!

I feel this metamorphosis where I am becoming the butterfly version of myself.

Have I become my father?

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