I’ve got some freak allergic fit today and it knocked me out but I rise as I always do. Been trying to help some of my friends who got fired last week cause well I wanna help them out cause they are my friends and basically I’ve been trying to see if I could help them find new jobs or whatever, and I’ve been trying to find a new job for my own self too, cause I think they were bludgeoned with the ham fist out into the cold, uncertain times, (bleak), and while the axe forgets, the tree doesn’t, and the trees friends neither.
And indeed indeed we do have a turkey inside. A turkey feeling blue is in a temporary hospital ward inside.
Hello everybody been out job hunting these past few days.
It’s been a bit barren, but I’ve got a powerful spade and have maybe found some few promising wells.
Well it’s a bit exhausting it is, but as is the case for most things worth having; you have to fight for them.
And telling people about yourself and how you work in a team and whether you speak English is basically like going to a shrink you don’t have to pay for, so there’s always that. However all of these situations involves disappointing someone which I don’t like very much.
It’s this yin yang which gets to me, also the stress of selecting right input device when joining teams meetings, it’s defaulting to the mysterious Default device which is some sort of nonexistent void device which I blame on Ubuntu but some people might say to do something in udev to do something with pulseaudio or some other system-setting or some sound setting I haven’t found and which might fall out during next system update but anyhow yes yes I will look into that…
More of this will come clear next week or the one after next.
Ok we weren’t a family after all. We got the situation thoughtfully explained to us the other day; a family is where you do things and do not expect anything in return, whereas in a business we expect economic compensation.
These layoffs were just business. (We were never a family after all)
We tried to clarify that a) we weren’t the ones using the term family to describe the company relationship, they were(!!), and b) we did understand that when they used the term it was figuratively speaking. Unfortunately we didn’t get the message across.
There’s also no plans to fire me in foreseeable future they said. I asked.
So I would describe these discussions and meetings as some of the strangest ones I’ve ever had and I have created some excellent memories.
There is more to write about all this but I’ll let it stew in my head first.
They ain’t gonna fire me in the foreseeable future they said.
There will be some more interesting stuff written about this soon but right now it’s all too fresh in my head; I’ve barely slept for three days.
These days were absurd in an absurd sort of way which if I put in my (forthcoming) best seller book some of the meetings I had would probably seem too incredible, like some Dilbert shit.
Think its been a very bleak week with sort of a post apocalyptic vibe to it or something. Will sort through the thoughts.
Tomorrow I’m going down to work office. They’ve laid a big number of people off yet again. I remember explicitly them saying they’d never do fire anyone cause we’re all one big family, they said, but that turned out to be not accurate, or like sure; some families are awful, like that Fritzl guy, and Cinderellas family wasn’t so nice either, or that mother with munchausen by proxy type family. Sure; people aren’t fired exact, more like they get severance packages, so then: True to the letter, but not in spirit.
Like Aes Sedai.
Tomorrow I’m going down there to see if I too am gonna get fired, like a lamb to the slaughter, but then fired out not fired, I’ll go see Architects.
I know job market is tough right now, yet I feel serene about the whole thing, I don’t know if I care. Like that Stubb guy in Moby Dick said:
I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I'll go to it laughing
I sometimes get the feeling I’m about to get struck dead by lightning. It’s when I’m in my home cooking in the kitchen. It doesn’t make no sense but it’s like this from time to time. Like some bad omen.
There’re some horrors out there waiting for you for which I have no clue how to adequately prepare. Best thing you can do is try to hold on to what you got and always rise again when life deals you a hard blow and try to make things right: don’t leave no words unspoken, no deed undone and make amends and all that. Don’t part ways in bad terms with people you love.
Also ensure that the people you love know this.
I try to do all of these things because I think a lot about death and it scares me a lot.
A lot.
Memento Mori by Kamelot is a great track.
Memento Mori by Architects is a great track.
Speaking of which, I’ll see them (Architects) soon like in a couple of days.
Ok look forward to seeing about my next post!! It’s gonna be the best one yet!
hello there is nothing in my head, no feelings just nothing up there. this week feels like there will be a bunch of nothings between all the meals and terrors of waking up.
Waking up feels awful, but at the same time it’s great just because of the alternative.
There’s a line of text from this song, “You have survived” by Firewind which is really stuck in my head (the whole text is really great but this one line is the one I’m referring to):
All is well, at the end of the day
If you're still alive
One place I worked at had some guideline or ethos that “you dig where you stand”, I guess about seizing the opportunities within your reach; it makes absolutely no sense at all: what if you’re on top of a septic tank or a power line, or are in the middle of the mine field? You’d be in for a big surprise… What about moving to some place where there may be gold or diamonds and dig there instead?
Thus my recommendation is to dig where there’s treasure or you’ll end up with at best nothing.
I just saw that film about Elton John a few months ago. Did you know he was gay?
The circle of life song from lion king I really liked as child. A friend at the time (a peasant) had that one on CD. He also had an Amiga with Golden Axe. He said dwarves are ten times stronger than humans and we had an argument when he said wrestling wasn’t real and I didn’t wanna realise this. It can shatter your world view; the very Fundaments upon which you base your understanding of the world around you can be shattered like that and then you must seek to put the bases elsewhere. To try again to rebuild.
Joe Abercrombie writes in some book I don’t remember which one about facing harsh truths and that you cannot avoid that; you must realise those things in order to grow you cannot live in denial.
One of my favourite authors he is. I also enjoyed the count of Monte Christo a great deal indeed. Books don’t have to be boring I mean with so many books on this earth it makes sense to read the ones you like first.