The happy place

I couldn’t care less if people wore socks during summer; they might have goat “hooves” in them for all I know, which makes sense to hide because one may be self conscious about such a thing, or else simply don’t want attention drawn to that whenever venturing outside.

Anyhow what can I say about these past few days except the sun has been blazing outside pleasantly but I’ve been confined mostly inside during the days working at my desk in the cool indoors environment.

I’ve almost got a negative motivation score at work. It feels like it’s far below zero anyhow. Felt like climbing a mountain to get to the aws console login page, and what is the account number? A joke is what it is: 13-16 digits ??? It’s not meant for humans to input it’s a number for machine to machine communication I think.

I’m far away from being a machine because of my high EQ.

I saw about a college having a prosperous career as an OpenVMS expert and that felt very reassuring because I’ve been questioning for how long I can go on working with the Java.

I appreciate many things about java: the new (since java 8) time API, with ZonedDateTimes which handles DST when adding days, the stream API, I like generics even though I know it’s not exclusive to java, I really used to think CompletableFutures was neat but now I’m working in coroutines mostly and the various flow apis Kotlin has. I used to think of kotlin like a Java with uglier syntax, but now I think instead it is really neat and prefer it even to java.

Anyhow I’m up to a lot of stuff but I don’t want to write about it: I don’t wanna jinx nothing and is premature.

Hello everyone!!

Friday I made it!!! It was a reasonably good week with many happy faces and many strengthened friendships. The other people were back from various conferences and whatever and towards the end of the week I no longer had the crushing responsibilities of a scrum master and felt invigorated, went for a brisk run in the very warm sun and drank a lot of tap water.

Not everyone have access to drinkable water and I counted myself blessed beyond measure and it made me wonder why I have so much of what other people may lack.

So yeah no complaints. I’m

Today as a scrum master I missed the standup completely, as I did yesterday.

That’s taking delegation up a notch.

Then we had some sort of planning/grooming. I quickly zoned out but was nevertheless able to estimate accurately all the story points.

Five here and eight there.

Then I worked on some incidents. That’s when you truly feel alive. It’s the kick that draws thrill seeking daredevils like me to ops work. It’s the danger. And the investigative detective’s work. Like Poirit.

Then I reviewed a PR laden with badly written code in which I left a lot of constructive and helpful feedback, always respectful and thought through.

Then I saw that very same PR merged moments later and I found that very amusing, because I may not care overmuch about the well being of the place I’m at right now, so I have a certain healthy distance.

Here’s my life hack: When something pops up I ask myself “do I have to care about this or that?”, 99% the answer is no.

Then I worked on some cluster and that’s it.

Two days of adding value like a motherfucker!!

My first day as the scrum master went without incident. Following the agile manifesto and/or handbook I empowered my colleagues to take action and decisions by letting one of them share the board so that I could focus on my mobile game.

It was a win win for all involved parties.

I then promptly went and drew up some architecture diagrams for a PowerPoint presentation I tossed together just like that. A lot of shapes and arrows and a gray metallic like background and so forth. Synth gray like from a 2010:s EBM album like some Suicide Commando or Project Pitchfork album.

Making PowerPoint presentations and creating software architecture diagrams and flowcharts really does appeal to my artistic side and today I had a tinge of darkness added to the mix with the gray background I just described.

Thanks to office suite’s powerful clip art gallery, I crowned the piece by adding a Dick Tracy like secret agent black and white artwork to the first page to give a feeling that I was debriefing some secret agents like MI7.

Needless to say the presentation was a big hit which left some of my colleagues stunned and at loss for words. I picture it now how they talked amongst themselves about that which they just witnessed after I thanked for everyones time and left them awestruck: It was more of a PowerPoint backed spoken word show than a regular presentation.

Then I sent some messages left and right and that was basically it.

Tomorrow I’ll make my favourite joke that next stand up we should have a roast instead.

The best thing about changing jobs is that nobody will have heard any of my jokes.

I’ve spent my waken time this weekend mostly outside doing stuff.

Now I’ve got this tired feeling which feels pretty good, even though I know I’ll be working tomorrow. I’ll be a scrum master this next week (that means I’ll be sharing my screen presenting the jira scrum board. (I must not forget to put „scrum master“ on LinkedIn.))

I’ve not started no new jobs yet, likely that will be after vacations. Therefore nobody knows nothing yet about that I’ll be quitting. Or some people do, they are in my circle of trust. So basically everyone except the manager.

I don’t enjoy disappointing people and since I’m such a great guy, it’ll be a hard blow for sure when I drop the bomb, and maybe having it dragged out like this hasn’t been optimal for my well being, because my strategy, apart from being strange, is to face my problems head on immediately and deal with any and all consequences as soon as possible, so that I may put it behind me. Like Solomon Kane.

Here I am ill adviced to do any rash thing before I have my future more clear as I have such a short notice period and for all I know they could end me prematurely and thus could create a vacuum in between jobs which I would rather avoid because I’ve got expenses.

We’re planning vacations

It’s an evening again. Abruptly last week there were thick layers of snow coated everywhere, but now it’s hot summer and already it’s time to mow the lawns. So abrupt this transition was that it seems like a glitch in the matrix or something.

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Right now there’s this endless list of tasks ahead of me. Tasks I ain’t looking much forward to at all but life ain’t supposed to be fun all of the time.

You can’t have the yin without the yang.

Life is hard from time to time and then the trick is to be harder because what is the alternative?

A world where people can be 100% soft is an utopia I think, because then it’s enough with one hard bastard in the mix and that one will dominate the others.

That’s why my strategy is to be hard on the outside, but to have a soft core, like a hollow diamond filled with gold.

There’s been an ebb in my brain and so therefore I’ve not written.

Some days words and thoughts erupt out of the brain with a force of that volcano which drenched Pompeii in lava.

Today is not such a day at all.

Instead I’m feeling like a glass of carbonated water forgotten for so long that now it’s just plain water. Even it’s Lukewarm and half empty.

But that does not mean I am unhappy.

I’m the luckiest man I know.

Hey I’ve had surgery in my sinuses on numerous occasions (two), and I’m likely due for a third one. When they anaesthetized me for the first time with that mask, you know, I was on the brink of panic and the whole ordeal was not a very pleasant one at all, but worst I think was waking up because then I did panic for sure: disoriented I woke up having an asthma attack and started pulling on the tampons they’d stuffed up my nose.

I find that funny today that I had two tampons shoved up my left nose, and one up my right one. The strings taped to my chin, and a menstrual pad under the nose, fixed behind my ears as a the cherry on top.

I sure did have a fine time on the train back from the hospital that time, looking like that. Snot blood dripping from the nostril with only one tampon.

There are three significant things worth mentioning about this experience:

First was was when installing IV drip into my arm, the nurse was really struggling with the syringe and she stabbed me many times before finally finding the vein. That is of course OK with me; someone has to always be someone’s first time doing something, and for sure I prefer that to mine being someone’s first surgery.

Second one was that I shared a room with an old man with a wheezy cough and a wheezy breath and he appeared to be on the brink of death but he got hospitalised just in time and after overhearing him on the phone, it turned out that he had caught a cold spending time with his grandchildren. Even so his voice really shone up when he talked about the experience and I am without any doubt that he thought it was worth spending that time with those children even though it nearly liked him. That was very significant experience for me to bear witness to.

Thirdly on brink of panic being put to sleep some medic put her hand on my chest just above the heart I think, and it felt like she was shooting warmth out of her hand and it was very soothing for some reason. That was significant.

And yeah lastly my wife visited me on the hospital the evening before the surgery and she looked so worried that it broke my heart to see.

One more thing: when pulling the tampons out, one of them was stuffed real deep and I felt it in the other side of the forehead so I didn’t really have the stomach to pull it out: my wife had to help me over a bucket. I remember to this day the feeling of having it scraping the insides and when it came out with a gush of blood it was a big relief.

hello hello well met !

I saw a fox just now, scurrying across the fields into the forest. Like a quick brown fox (except this one was red).

That’s a fine sight, foxes are graceful creatures. Fine sight at least as far away from our chicken as we are now, because the foxes spell doom for them: Our neighbours one day forgot to close the hatch and a fox got into their pen. It must’ve been a sorry sight when going there the morning after to discover all of them chickens dead in pools of feathers and blood, unseeing eyes looking back at them and so forth.

That’s the type of mistake you make only once I think.

Anyhow nature’s beauty with foxes and roe deers and lynxes prowling and the like is a miracle in its own right, and we should be lucky to share the earth with such magnificent creatures I think.

But of course the lesson is that they are all ruthless in their struggle to survive and feed their families (don’t know if I would count the deers among the ruthlessest animals or not, but you’ve bound to have some thick skin to survive the harsh and dangerous winters)

Hey did you know that animals with exoskeletons, such as lobsters, they too can gain weight and become obese, just like everyone else, whereupon the skeleton segments will adjust to the new size, but that obese lobsters might still suffer from mobility issues and trouble breathing, so if your lobster turns fat, then you are well advised to put him or her on a diet.