The happy place

All is well.

The topics on my mind are such that they are uncomfortable to write about and to think about.

First one is my sister has ghosted me and turns out to be very strange in a bad way.

Second one is the end of vacation which feels ok, because there are three more weeks and then I start the new one., but it makes me think of my job about to quit: I quit the old one because I do not like at all the way they laid my friends off during a big recession, and even though of course they were related, it still was done badly and in a very bad way. They should’ve fired the new boss instead, who thinks he has to explain to us the difference between work and family (it’s the pay he says). I don’t enjoy seeing my friends getting fired, some of them had worked there for decades, loyally guiding the office through hardships, going above and beyond and whatnot being rewarded for their loyalty with a severance package. I value loyalty and friends a lot and therefore I felt the need to take my top performance elsewhere, even though it pays less, because money isn’t everything and I can afford to be poorer.

Anyhow: Both of these things have been sources of anxiety and I think it was cruel of my sister to just exclude me from her life because I’ve been struggling to keep our relationship alive for years and feel like an idiot that it took me this long to realise that she don’t want anything to do with me.

I don’t like to feel like an idiot when I’m fact I’m of at least around average intelligence.