The happy place

Last night I dreamt we were some people who were going to move something or code something and it was colleges. Maybe we were in a boat or a hotel and/or maybe we were in Italy. It was a work trip.

We were all going out to do something with something and when we left I realised I had no shoes on, so I went back looking, but all of my shoes were gone. I dreamt I had brought three pairs.

I was looking everywhere and I thought I spotted thru the handle hole a pair of my crocs at the bottom of a big box (this did not make sense as handle holes are placed near top not bottom of boxes, just showcases how surreal dreams can be), but when I started digging they were not in there, so I started looking for shoes of my size but they were all one size too small and I picked out a pair of black sneakers with red detailing but they turned into those five finger shoes, you know the type which have individual toe compartments. Furthermore they turned to socks.

Anyhow by that time the others were all back at the hotel or boat room and I knew someone had hidden all my shoes.

Not precisely a nightmare but creepy as why would anyone do that?

The night before that dream, or if it was two nights, doesn’t matter, I dreamt that I was making pancakes but one of the eggs had a chicken carcass in it and what is remarkable about that dream is that it seemed to follow very closely me falling asleep as it woke me up and the audiobook was still on.

It’s raining angrily outside, thunder rumbling in the sky covered with great white benevolent-looking clouds. Such a contrast.

Like the clouds in my little pony all mostly white looking like cotton candy. Equestrian.

And it’s pleasantly warm too!

Very awe inspiring and contrast rich weather with bright flashes of lightning, like God is taking pictures of something or something.

We are sitting in mums pergola which isn’t a pergola but rather some sort of wooden frame with a roof on. Sheltered from the rain you hear it smattering on the roof while being very very dry, sipping cava.

One hen has got bandaged feet, she looks like Michel Jackson or some type of 80’s bad boy (the type with jeans jackets). There is some sort of claw infection we been treating her daily because she is such a sweetheart.

I’m such a failure as a poultry farmer that I’ll end up a vegetarian.

I don’t look like Michel Jackson, I’m more sun tanned looking like fried pork.

I’ve

Setbacks can sometimes help build character and foster humility and therefore they could be diamonds created by the crushing weight of failure.

Or they could indeed crush someone into dust.

Got a strong allergic reaction after being out running yesterday: first comes the headache, then the snot torrent, the sneezes and finally the cough.

Think I’m getting allergic to fitness.

Went to bed, knocked out, after falling asleep in front of John Wick chapter four.

Woke with back pains in the middle of the night (not sure if it was in the middle exactly, not like I checked the clock.), some misalignment in the spine but it went away as did the allergies.

I’ve got a quite formidable constitution which compensates for me sometimes feeling like an alpha release. Like with the allergies; they don’t make no sense: they are not like a missing feature like lactose intolerance, no clearly they are some sort of bugs as they react strongly to nothing.

Much like an overzealous application security department…

I have got curly hair now, because the day before yesterday I think my wife braided my hair and now I’ve let it all out and I look very beautiful in a slightly funny way.

It’s only temporary.

(Everything is.)

The guests have left, after creating many strong memories in my head for which I am glad.

We for example went fishing, using my new fishing rod I was close to catching the biggest pike I ever saw, like some feral beast of legend: pikes are some sort of nightmare fuel with their mean teeth and big mouths and this one looked like it could’ve swallowed my hand, that’s how big and mean it looked, but last minute it broke free and I almost felt relieved because it would’ve rattled the boat to the point of capsizing it, had I managed to hoist it up there.

Another example is we had coffee in the egg shaped sofas.

I’ve got few friends I can be just silent with because generally speaking I cannot differentiate awkward silence from regular silence and thus I keep talking to fill the void. The exception being in the mornings before I have fully booted, at which point I do not always even realise if someone tries talking to me.

but my BFF can be silent for a long time, without anything amiss. Presumably he’s looking at the game cameras in his mobile phone, spotting different kinds of deers which all look the same to me. That’s a nice thing I think.

So there we sat all silent sipping coffee in the egg shaped sofas, surrounded by turkeys just being themselves, having a good time.

When turkeys copulate, it’s a very graceless thing to behold: the tom climbs onto the twice as small hen and stands there for two to three minutes, just trying to find his balance, moving his feet, swaying to and fro with a look of deep concentration on his face, until finally he finds it and then two seconds later they are done and the hen rises and shakes her feathers and that’s that.

Anyhow did I write that I was gonna start making dream catchers? I feel compelled to do that, me being so spiritual and artistic and whatnot.

I feel compelled.

I’ve already started collecting a big assortment of feathers, now I just need to figure out what types of rings to use, but I am confident it will come to me in due time.

Think even the rugged feathers will do, especially the weather worn feathers, they have this wabi sabi type of beauty to them, like a scarred face they sometimes can be more beautiful than a regular one.

Ok thanks for reading!!

I’m awake now I’m the sun sitting in the egg shaped couch thing opposite the hammock with my turkeys and my chickens and having a mighty fine time.

It’s midsummer and the other humans are inside, sleeping I believe; having arrived either very late or else very early.

I’m pretty glad they are sleeping, cause then I can have this small moment for myself with the turkeys and chickens and my thoughts for company in the pleasant morning sun.

I’m listening to Current 93 getting flashbacks from when I was young and beautiful in a more elvish way than the rugged slightly lumberjack way I am beautiful now. The Bloodbells Chime. This produces memories for some reason of Magic: the gathering and some people I used to like and probably still do, but who are no longer friends as our ways parted somewhere sometime twenty years ago.

I’m wearing my new socks my wife ordered for me (I forgot to mention them yesterday) and it’s the only white piece of clothing I’ve got, being as I am, as we are in my family, dressed in black.

The music and the way my thoughts are leading me to some dark frame of mind is my signal to cancel the couch sitting and go put some coffee on.

today I felt three smells:

First one was from the pasta salad I had for lunch. It was the paprika: The Red one. Love that smell.

Second was from when lawn mowing. It was gasoline. That’s a great smell. I Love the smell of gasoline.

Third was from myself, the hoodie is now in the wash basket. Sweat smell carries signals which serve multitudes of purposes allegedly. Smelt nice in a slightly disgusting way the same way a fart sometimes smells like freshly baked pizza.

Now it’s gone again, the sense of smell, but it makes me happy to know that I do smell stuff sometimes; maybe one day it’ll come back completely.

It’s easy to draw parallels to how Nynaeve feels when trying to channel the One power, though this is probably not a mental block, and I don’t get it back only when angry and so maybe it’s a terrible comparison, but it felt like I could tap into some or other power when I smelt the red paprika.

I do smell more often than I smell though hehe.

Anyhow this is a good day, not only did I smell three smells, but also I took the day off, because I thought my BFF was gonna come, but he comes tomorrow. We bought gasoline, a fishing rod and a toaster, cause that’s how the day started: some part of the breakfast bread got stuck in the old toaster which started to smoke ominously.

Burnt smoke rising from the toaster was not one of the three smells I smelt.

Then we’ve been moving stuff, I’ve been putting up colourful ribbons to dissuade the raptors from predating on my turkeys and it looks very festive.

I love the turkeys, won’t be able to eat them. I love them too much.

PS. I lied about the hoodie, I’m still wearing it it’s just cozy.

Fiddling with the pipelines, wishing I was somewhere else.

Specifically downstairs, outside in the hammock with my feathered beasts for company and one of them books, but you cannot always get what you want, burdened as you might be, as I am, by the heavy responsibilities of being a provider, keeping the wolves away.

There’s a song about this: “Keep The Wolves Away” by Uncle Lucius, that you have to pay a little bit with your soul each day to keep the wolves away.

That’s a harsh truth if ever there was one.

To get in some better mood I am instead listening now to “Oooh Love” by Blaze Foley. Think it’s got the best song title I’ve ever seen. It’s a bit of a sad one too, though. So strong feelings on there. Eerie.

Screw this all I’ll put some Scooter on and go eat a fancy lunch

Boom Chakalaka.

Been running in the rain, steam rising from my hot body like a steam train I resemble in more ways than one.

I’m feeling OK.

I watched soccer the other day, for EM, and I felt nothing. Probably there’s some gene missing or something, not sure. Wasn’t bored precisely, certainly not excited, no: just indifferent.

What else is new? Due to an incident between neighbours’ dog and our cat, we are unlikely to be able to watch him (the dog) and I feel a little bit bad about that because likely it messes with their plans but what can I do?

Besides from that I ain’t done or thought much at all since yesterday so I’ll stop now.

If there 👁️

👁️

I took the premiere bath for the summer in some lake yesterday. It felt unpleasant.

I’m clean right now. Normally I don’t shower unless I’ve been jogging, because I don’t like being wet. When I’ve exercised however, I am already wet from sweat, so then it ain’t no difference in that respect.

My element I think is fire and thus water is my polar opposite.

Or no that’s not right; my element is the moon but still the point is the same; I don’t like being wet.

I like being clean though: to be clean on clean bed sheets like I am now, that’s a treat I think.

To have this much of everything is a miracle or something, and my life is so good that I somehow worry it’s too good to be true like when you scratch some cats on the belly suddenly they attack, it’s that feeling I sometimes get.

So I guess my spirit animal is not a donkey like I always thought, but a cat.

A tigress 🐅