The happy place

I am up before the sun today, lying here on the blue sofa with the dogs resting on my chest, listening to Break the Ice by Britney Spears, have you heard of her? It’s from a playlist of my favourite songs, I think.

But that changes with the mood so much that such a playlist doesn’t make any sense for me to have.

The black dog is a great source of inspiration these mornings, he has such a great mood; I have never felt nearly the same enthusiasm to start a new day; before the sun is up, even, I feel absolutely terrible; it’s only through mighty force of will that I pull it together.

He just sat his ass down on my face.

But I am having some coffee now and some time alone with my own thoughts, dogs and Britney Spears.

Hello again it’s me!

I’m not actually a fitness weapon, yet.

I am a DOG LOVER!

I’ve weaponised my fitness!

Do you know what I mean?

Like?

What pearls of wisdom shall I share today?

Do you ever have the feeling that you’ve forgotten something important, like a dog?

Or your keys?

Or birthdays?

Sometimes I’ve got ten thousand thoughts up in the head!! Sometimes I forget stuff I do!!

It’s really crowded up there in the brain!! I forget every day, so I write my thoughts down or else they will be lost, maybe forever!!

🧚 🧚‍♀️ 🧚‍♂️ 🧚 🧚‍♀️ 🧚‍♂️

it’s like a lasagna in the head.

This reminds me of this line of text from Pistolvania (Shuko remix is the best version) by Vinnie Paz:

[…]

But if you disrespect my mother or […] And the 50 Cal make your Face look like spaghetti look at this fetti Look at all this beautiful shit A south Philly scumbag wearing Gucci and shit It's over!

Do you know this feeling? Can you relate to this?

Ok I lost my train of thought now.

But the train ride continued off rail

Because it’s not an actual train, it’s a figure of speech.

I would’ve pulled the lever.

Because passivity is my arch enemy.

I see why the Vikings didn’t distinguish between blue and black, because when I look at the sky, it’s both. Or either.

It’s always dark outside nowadays.

When it’s sunlit, I spend the day confined inside — waiting for a build to complete, for example.

But I had one comma, too many, causing the fool thing to fail.

So there I sit, spending the valuable hours of sunlight, spending my finest years, waiting for the verdict: one comma too many.

But I am a creature of the dark. For example, I made this cool Gothic-Victorian steampunk look on my Pokémon GO character: a top hat with goggles, and her face, too, has goggles.

It amuses me greatly to have glasses on the face AND on the forehead.

It only makes sense if, for example, you care about redundancy.

If you work with TIER1 systems, for example.

Some would say you ought to treat yourself like a TIER1 “business-critical” system, but that level of reassurance is a prison.

And an illusion.

Because what protection does double glasses provide, if you are struck by lightning?

You have to get out into the black-blue yin-yang of a moonless night, armed with wit and a single pair of glasses, to face all the dangers — and live.

Mmm

Even in this miserable weather, I saw a teenage girl jump into the cold puddles, laughing; seizing the moment.

To see her jumping like that —without a care for her white shoes or trousers — felt like an act of rebellion against the cold and dark.

Even in the cold moonless blackness of autumn, with these cold brown puddles, her laughter seemed to radiate like the sun.

It made me smile.

👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ Hello there!

👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️

How do you like this: I’ve signed up again for some dance fitness

👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️👀

A side of 👀 me I haven’t honoured,

To express myself through 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️👀 Music!! Dance!! And fitness!!

To once more step up onto step board, the nosebleed doesn’t matter

I don’t feel it,

I feel only myself being one with the beat!

Pandora — tell the world

Stomp on the ground!!

And what more? I don’t know!

A beautiful sight to behold when man becomes music and dancing

A manifestation of art and

Fitness

Before, a fog rising toward the gray sky smudged everything, like a half-hearted watercolor painting. Now, it’s dark blue—nay, black.

And it’s not even night, although maybe it is.

J in me a fog too is rising, but it is not gray; it is red. And it puts a soft, warm glow on there.

That’s too good but it’s thanks to the 🍷 wind, nay wine

A welcome sensation indeed

I had hoped to find some exciting treasures in the cat litter box — maybe a fossilised dinosaur bone or a golden figurine — as I was busily performing sort of an archeological dig in there — but found nothing of value.

Is there a lesson to be learned from this excavation?

A lesson, maybe, in the futility of hoping for what cannot be?

A hope, maybe, to find meaning where there is none?

But from where, then, did this golden figurine of wisdom come?

I excavated it, just now, from the cat litter box.

I’m now wearing the second thrift store gift my aunt gave me.

It’s a hoodie, but red.

Wearing red is rich symbolism,

But it’s not very practical as I once wore a red hoodie with a zipper, but people would confuse me with a grocery store worker, and ask where stuff was.

Which I happily obliged, it’s funny how I learn to navigate the grocery store like a savant, but am unable to navigate through the traffic in my red car.

It’s my wife’s car.

A red car symbolises social democracy.

Generally speaking.

I also know that red makes the blemishes of the face stand out, as does the contrast colour: green. I read this in a harlequin book, which I consider a good authoritative source for such knowledge. Turquoise is optimal (I think it was) if you want to accentuate your tan.

However, that is of little consequence to me now.

I have a strong confidence that my inner beauty will shine through no matter what colour my sweater has.

My soul, you see, today is also clad in red.

Picture me, in this red social democracy car, wearing this red thrift store hoodie — accentuating my red blemishes — and the red star glowing from within.