There’s one potent thought from Sunday that I want to write down for my own reference:
Last Sunday was foggy cold and there was a mild rain outside. No sun could be spotted through the white and gray clouds. The ground was turned into mud and I had the pains of an aging body and a congestion in the sinuses caused by a wine allergy (!) and furthermore I had a tinge of the Sunday blues and was inside spiralling slightly downwards towards the abyss, planted haplessly on the sofa, getting radicalised by doomscrolling through the federated feed from Lemmy (bad news about Elon musk and Donald trump and the capitalists and the Palestinians and the climate and some rich dudes etc).
,
Even though I didn’t want to, I put on the sausage skin jogging outfit and went out in the shitty weather for a run. It hurt somewhat and it felt terrible, but after some twenty minutes or less I had disappeared into myself (it’s a trick I have): I entered into a type of trance like state of mind where the mind wanders and there’s music in the ears (a mix) and I enjoy the scenery and the badness is either melting and/or is breathed out while the mind wanders freely.
That’s the thing to remember, because I really didn’t want to run. Like it was the last thing I wanted to do, but I did it and one hour later I was flying like a bird.
It’s a Wolf Moon out there! The dogs are all crazy: our dog, neighbours’ dogs! All dogs! Our dog is barking and is irratic. The neighbours are too and their dogs are running amok, looking for something, not quite sure what.
It’s the cold and the aforementioned Wolf Moon and also the Halloween season: the spirits are closer. That’s what the dogs feel without necessarily knowing that that’s what it is; they smell the death or the faint smell of the dead like a vague compost musk, sense the rustle of leaves as they (the dead) pass through or are near the dogs. They (the dead) are spectral and thus cannot materialise (fully).
The humans mostly do not notice all of what is going on with the ghosts, but I am observant moreover am sensitive to the spiritual realm as I think I’ve got some attunement to the moon; it’s the high tide rising and I think it’s a feminine element, the moon, and that explains a lot.
A lot.
Furthermore I do enjoy (the mundane pleasures of life) watching for the fifth or sixth time the Gilmore Girls. It’s ’an autumn activity and even though Lane, her mum “Miss Kim” and her (Lane’s) band “Hep Alien” have a substantial chunk of the time on this show, the series is a true masterpiece even so.
the TV has a channel with only non stop Taylor Swift videos, isn’t that strange? Taylor Swift is also strange; there are many artists who I think are better in the same genre (Ava Max, Demi Lovato, that one with bunny ears etc), but she’s way bigger than all of them. I think it’s like the least common denominator: an artist who only the outliers dislike and most people tolerate? It’s the sweet spot.
I like that trouble song. it’s catchy.
Trouble trouble. I think it’s about falling for a bad boy but I’ve not listened to the lyrics even though I have heard that she’s a top notch lyricist, like I heard some fan say on TV (on another channel) that she ought to have the Nobel prize, that’s how good she is.
Personally I like a little bit more misanthropic texts or texts with a theme or concept albums which unravel an interesting story.
It’s the tinge of darkness which makes me such an interesting person: a type of friendly guy who does want to do good, but with a dark side aswell.
Interesting.
Speaking of which
I’m having a little bit fun at work now, I’d forgotten that feeling. It’s better than looking at some logs waiting for the day to end haha
Haha
trouble trouble
hello dear!!
I have had many intensive days which have rendered my batteries empty (hence I’ve not written here). Maybe like an old iPhone: batteries don’t last a full day no more, and won’t always charge properly.
But unlike an old iPhone, I have a formidable capacity.
New job is exhausting. I’m getting too old for new experiences like this, and the worn down tracks of my old life was deep indeed. Like waist deep. And now like an ox and/or a tractor I must follow a new path unknown into my future. To make new tracks.
I wish I was more enthusiastic, but I’m feeling wrung out?!! Feeling like it’s the type of thing one must push through for a greater prosperity in the future, though I keep counting down the years until retirement, and it’s a long time still.
But it seems like it could be fun! work could be fun, people are nice (appears to be) and stuff.
Also, on the other hand, think about these fuck nuts working their asses off under the constant abuse from chef Ramsay just to get to work on some barbecue restaurant? To wear a black chef’s jacket? To cook food and smoke ten packets of cigarettes and likely get a heart attack in the early fourties? And something also about toxicity?
Hey I got a playlist from Spotify called “your day in a playlist” or some shit like that. First track on there was “Gallows Hymn”, followed by “Graveyard”, “Meth Head”, “Breakfast in hell”, “Black Lung“, ”My shit’s fucked up”, Metamphetamine” and “Waiting around to die”,
But also Banjo Odyssey. That’s the most fucked up one.
don’t know what sort of day they had in store for me, but it went rather good all in all with no metamphetamine, just the regular grind and now I’m one day closer to retirement
There was a bone chilling cold sink is teeth in me even though it’s not that cold, there was white big moon yesterday, a full moon of triple the usual size, but still just as cold.
I’ve got a turkey, the angel maker, she who nibbles at her sister’s feathers, she who’s got the most beautiful coat of feathers: cream white with a shine of oilcloth and a glitter like ice cold snow, or cheap vanilla ice cream. Her feet were covered in shit and therefore for all her beauty, she stank pungently yesterday.
But I could sense that smell. They are returning to me it seems, the smells. Even the repelling ones are welcome and they do make me happy. Even the stink of shit.
First when I was out running, the sun shone on me, and just now when I was out with the little dog, so did the moon. Like a big headlight.
The moon radiates a cold, silvery energy.
I think that when there’s a full moon out there, the spiritual realm is closer to us and I think astrologers and astronomers agree about that.
Speaking of which
I think that System of a Down is a great band, I’m listening to them now. Great lyrics on sensitive topics and the whole thing; it’s a mixture of playfulness and seriousness which I enjoy. Such contrasts make a rather powerful effect. (Radio/Video is my favourite track)
It was my cousin he introduced me to System of a down. He was listening to mr. Bungles (Carousel) and fantômas and System of a down, whereas I was more into EBM (such as VNV nation) and Einstürzende Neubauten (no longer like) at the time but I’ve always loved listening to music and a funny coincidence I’m wearing an old VNV Nation T-Shirt right now!! It says something along the lines of “Faith, Glory, Power” or some shit like that on the back and once when I was walking along the piers many years ago some influencer woman shot a picture of it for her instagram, so there was some powerful messages indeed back there.
ok
Empires is the only good VNV album I think, but that one is 100% gold.
There’s this line of lyrics of this Architects’ track “do you dream of armageddon” like this:
No tree can grow to Heaven
Till its roots reach down to Hell
Will we ever learn our lesson?
We all fall in parallel
Brilliant!
It’s something something Carl Jung but basically it’s the yin yang I am always alluding to; the brutal dynamics of being alive and so forth… But anyhow the reason I’m writing this is I think about it whenever the turkeys look up at the sky: as their eyes are on either side of their cute faces, whenever they look up, they also look down.
that’s really deep, as I think looking like the turkeys do: to heaven AND hell is the only way to see a devil in the sky.
I’ve been tampering with front end and the react and the so called DOM. This is an acquired taste (I think) I have yet to acquire.
I’ve put the Wolf book down as she (the she Wolf protagonist) is in a bad place and it’s rather slowly paced book, and I am impatient so it’s not been working out. Maybe I’ll read another few chapters in another few months.
Instead I am reading the black jewels trilogy, all three in one volume. By Anne bishop. This was a gift from my sister from before (many years ago) when we liked each other.
That’s a great world populated by handsome devil men named like Saetan SaDiablo, with black nail polish, long black hair, muscular bodies, wings, magic crystals and “obedience rings” around their dicks?!! Also some intra world travelling and prophecies and stuff like that; Quite strange but in a good way. I can recommend it to anyone who is interested in any of the above.
Ok the hamburgers I ordered ten minutes ago are ready so i cant write more now.