This here is the space into which I put some of the thoughts which have been gathering inside my head. Mostly mundane stuff as I am not that original
This weekend, we did sit outside in the cold and dark, barbecuing under the stars.
I was sat in one of these chairs which you can put the beer cans in it’s handrests.
There I sat, feeling warm and cold, mesmerised by the fire and the flames, the cinders.
Listening to the burning firewood.
drinking beers
With some friends
Freezing. And yet feeling warm.
Just this small oasis of light and warmth in the cold, dark night.
Such times are the best.
Hey
I’m thinking
Thinking
Do you know?
Like this; it’s like this exactly:
It’s been nagging at my brain:
There was a can of worms opened up inside of my brain — a swarm of realisations — like they are symbolising something serious like cognitive dissonance — wreaking havoc — as they shine a new worm light on everything.
And it’s ugly !
But even so, they try to crawl back into the jar, to seal themselves from me, because they hurt up there. They hurt me, and so I may subconsciously be compelling them to crawl back,
Like there’s a blind spot where the jar is: that’s where they crawl.
But I’ve written it all down!!
Even so, it’s like when I read the things I’ve written, it’s like the realisation comes anew…
Why is it like that? Somethings not right up there!
I wish to mend my inner construct, but I can’t as long as these worms of wisdom are there in the crowded darkness in their jar; I do not want to regress into my former shape, when this realisation cost me so much, do you know?
I will mend, it will be wabi sabi.
This is the hill I will die on.
I’m at the sushi joint, waiting for a so called bibimbap, they’re all full of stuff in there, in the food. However the chef coughed just now. Wonder if there’s cough in my bibimbap.
That would be unfortunate.
Now some idiot woman is asking them for wooden spoons. First she asked twice whether there was chicken in her food. They said yes twice. Now she’s wondering about wooden spoons. Why would they have wooden spoons in there? Does it look like an ice cream shop to her?
I bet she’s one of those entitled parents, you know? — or worse yet: a middle school teacher, who has this way of talking down to other people, like whoever she talks to she also teaches something, you know? Like she would have to ask twice in case they didn’t understand her the first time…
Wooden spoons…
She can shove the wooden spoons where the sun don’t ✨ shine.
Now I have eaten the bibimbap. The world isn’t so terrible.
I hope the middle school teacher found some wooden spoons for her chicken.
teachers and parents are the golden link between past and future.
May she ✨ shine like a su
I am up before the sun today, lying here on the blue sofa with the dogs resting on my chest, listening to Break the Ice by Britney Spears, have you heard of her? It’s from a playlist of my favourite songs, I think.
But that changes with the mood so much that such a playlist doesn’t make any sense for me to have.
The black dog is a great source of inspiration these mornings, he has such a great mood; I have never felt nearly the same enthusiasm to start a new day; before the sun is up, even, I feel absolutely terrible; it’s only through mighty force of will that I pull it together.
He just sat his ass down on my face.
But I am having some coffee now and some time alone with my own thoughts, dogs and Britney Spears.
Hello again it’s me!
I’m not actually a fitness weapon, yet.
I am a DOG LOVER!
I’ve weaponised my fitness!
Do you know what I mean?
Like?
What pearls of wisdom shall I share today?
Do you ever have the feeling that you’ve forgotten something important, like a dog?
Or your keys?
Or birthdays?
Sometimes I’ve got ten thousand thoughts up in the head!! Sometimes I forget stuff I do!!
It’s really crowded up there in the brain!! I forget every day, so I write my thoughts down or else they will be lost, maybe forever!!
🧚 🧚♀️ 🧚♂️ 🧚 🧚♀️ 🧚♂️
it’s like a lasagna in the head.
This reminds me of this line of text from Pistolvania (Shuko remix is the best version) by Vinnie Paz:
[…]
But if you disrespect my mother or […] And the 50 Cal make your Face look like spaghetti look at this fetti Look at all this beautiful shit A south Philly scumbag wearing Gucci and shit It's over!
Do you know this feeling? Can you relate to this?
Ok I lost my train of thought now.
But the train ride continued off rail
Because it’s not an actual train, it’s a figure of speech.
I would’ve pulled the lever.
Because passivity is my arch enemy.
I’m reading MOBY DICK, (it’s written with caps lock on the cover). A book very rich in symbolism; reading it feels like drinking concentrated juice, thinks I.
🧃
Coincidentally, it’s that very same book which Rory Gilmore read — sitting leaning against a lush green tree; so captivated, that when a football came flying close to her head, she didn’t react at all.
I hide the rest because it contains some spoilers maybe from Gilmore Girls
I see why the Vikings didn’t distinguish between blue and black, because when I look at the sky, it’s both. Or either.
It’s always dark outside nowadays.
When it’s sunlit, I spend the day confined inside — waiting for a build to complete, for example.
But I had one comma, too many, causing the fool thing to fail.
So there I sit, spending the valuable hours of sunlight, spending my finest years, waiting for the verdict: one comma too many.
But I am a creature of the dark. For example, I made this cool Gothic-Victorian steampunk look on my Pokémon GO character: a top hat with goggles, and her face, too, has goggles.
It amuses me greatly to have glasses on the face AND on the forehead.
It only makes sense if, for example, you care about redundancy.
If you work with TIER1 systems, for example.
Some would say you ought to treat yourself like a TIER1 “business-critical” system, but that level of reassurance is a prison.
And an illusion.
Because what protection does double glasses provide, if you are struck by lightning?
You have to get out into the black-blue yin-yang of a moonless night, armed with wit and a single pair of glasses, to face all the dangers — and live.
Mmm
Even in this miserable weather, I saw a teenage girl jump into the cold puddles, laughing; seizing the moment.
To see her jumping like that —without a care for her white shoes or trousers — felt like an act of rebellion against the cold and dark.
Even in the cold moonless blackness of autumn, with these cold brown puddles, her laughter seemed to radiate like the sun.
It made me smile.
👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ Hello there!
👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️
How do you like this: I’ve signed up again for some dance fitness
👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️👀
A side of 👀 me I haven’t honoured,
To express myself through 👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 👁️👀 Music!! Dance!! And fitness!!
To once more step up onto step board, the nosebleed doesn’t matter
I don’t feel it,
I feel only myself being one with the beat!
Pandora — tell the world
Stomp on the ground!!
And what more? I don’t know!
A beautiful sight to behold when man becomes music and dancing
A manifestation of art and
Fitness