The happy place

I thought I saw the moon through the window just now, but it was just the reflection from the kitchen lamp.

The things of significance of late follows:

Firstly, There is a beautiful scene I get to witness if I set out to jog around nine: half an hour later, halfway through the route, the sun is just about to sink behind the horizon. It casts a bright orange glow which stretches long dark shadows from the birch trees, creating a powerful visual effect with sharp contrasts, like on a Magic: the gathering card. Just around the bend there is a clearing: the sun behind the tall pine trees which line a reasonably sized pond also is a magnificent sight to behold as the reflection on the surface of the still waters makes a shimmering likeness of a golden tiger’s fur.

the problem was that as I was running with my neighbour it felt terrible the whole time because I had a higher pace than usual (he had a lower one).

Secondly I built a computer for my daughter and there’s something wrong it doesn’t boot. I’ll figure it out eventually but the lesson is this: I hate building computers: it’s just me sitting bent over the fool thing trying to connect all of the small cables’ tiny connectors with my big clumsy fists (of steel) to the motherboard etc, meanwhile dripping sweat everywhere and losing my patience from installing stuff wrongly and so forth and the thing is that this happens every time I build one: I detest it from start to finish so why do I think I like it? It’s always made me angry. Maybe the person I subconsciously want to be likes that shit, but it’s a big lie.

Maybe there is a dissonance between who I see myself as, and who I am. Maybe sometimes I turn a blind eye or a deaf ear to facts contrary to this persona I have created (deep), but it feels so pointless especially when it comes to such stupid shit, maybe it was to fit into some nerd archetype or something that I once convinced myself of this computer interest, and then it has been stored as a fact ever since. but I hereby shed my skin I won’t do such stuff more.

Instead I’ll try rucola. Maybe I like it now?