This was a mighty fine weekend. Thereāve been some great findings on the flea market I forgot to write about earlier amidst the excitement of me finding the coffee filters.
I found a 2:1 sound system with a powerful subwoofer for the PC for a mere ā¬10. Thatās a bargain if I ever seen one.
So yeah thatās just one example of how lucky I am.
I am a very complex figure, however; for even though I am very lucky (apparently) and stable like a fortress, and generally very content with everything, there is a compartment of my brain with a special room.
That room is often inhabited by some or other festering anxiety; if itās not some fatal or nonfatal disease I worry about, itās some other things I shall not name here for fear of summoning them back up there again.
I donāt really know how to deal with this; fixing and handling the individual worries just vacants the room and lets the next one in.
Maybe I love life too much, and cling to it too hard, suffocating somehow something something, not sure.
We used to have one of them reusable filters. Was a pita to clean between usages.
There is some resemblance between coffee filters and diapers, except the coffee filter is designed to let the liquid through (thatās the whole point) whereas diapers do it only accidentally.
OK so not so much resemblance after all.
There are some thoughts who looks promising but upon pursuing them, you come to a dead end, like I just did.
Thinking is a tiresome process as it can lead you to dead ends or even in circles and sometimes you get lost in your own head.
Being alive is tiresome for sure. Thatās why we require so much sleep.
Itās mild outside. itās thawing and therefore the roads are coated with ice. The snow lies heavy and wet on the ground.
Although you cannot see the sun behind the clouds, itās there for sure or else we would all be dead.
Thatās some food for thought right there; even though we cannot always see them, the good forces are at work always.
Anyway, today is ripe with opportunities. Been looking forward to this weekend, because I have come to detest my job. Donāt tell anyone but Iāve gotten a new one. Start date is not exactly set so Iām keeping a low profile for now. Biding my time.
Weāre all gonna go to flea markets this weekend. And buy coffee filters.
Clarification: The coffee filters weāll not buy those at the flea markets.
Thatās probably this weekendās most important quest.
The global push back for remote work is comparable to what happened to the women after they took part of the workforce during the great world wars, but the cat is out of the box, and when the recession ends like it always does, it will put an end to the fool policies by micro management and control freaks.
Today I witnessed such an object: the HP laser printer. Some consumer type model which was plugged into the PC with an USB cable, but which had suddenly stopped mid print, shining an amber light.
Apparently the fool thing will only print out error diagnostic printouts until it is connected to the wi-fi.
Itās got toner and paper, is detected by the PC, it can obviously print, but until it can reach the Internet, either through Ethernet or Wi-Fi, it will consume the printing queue into the void.
Thereās some pure evil going on at HP in the consumer printer department: Destroy the environment by creating such godforsaken products; greedy fingers reaching into the consumers WI-FI for some dubious purposes with one hand, groping for their wallets with the other, holding their products hostage until they get their dirty way.
Itās greed.
A death sin.
Likely it needs to be on the Internet so that HP can make it stop working at will.
Not only is this satanic machine consumer hostile, itās also a really shitty product: Fingering it the way stipulated in the manual does not make it reconnect and print. Itās just stuck in a loop of some sort; the firmware as corrupted as whoever wrote it.
This printer is a manifestation of moral bankruptcy, and itās fascinating in a way: Itās a creation of the same type of perverted mind who designed those medieval torture instruments you can see on display in the āMuseum Of Torture Instrumentsā in Tallinn.
I went running after all thru some mighty force of will I went in the sleet and ran like something slow like a tank or something, something with lots of fuel like a WW2 battleship, and it helped get rid of the darkness which has been marinating in me.
I think I sweated it out, cause my wife said I stank like a wet dog when I got back, and me not having any sense of smell I took her word for it and will let clothes soak in vinegar.
Allegedly that helps remove the stink of inner darkness.
Aah to feel the life in me, what a blessing isnāt that?
Right now I should be asleep but amnāt, and it probably is my own fault, but it doesnāt feel like it, cause I have been trying for hours.
Likely itās cause Iām powered by some very high performance engines like a nuclear submarine, and to bring such a mighty system to a full stop every night just isnāt feasible.
It could also be (and this explanation I donāt like as much) that Iām somewhat neurotic.
Probably itās a little bit of both.
A comfort I have to hold on to, anyway, is that Iām awesome.
If a song ever had sage advice in the lyrics, itās āKeep 'Em on They Toesā by āBrent Cobbā.
I heard that track, really heard it, when I was out jogging and it struck me how true it rang.
If you ever grow upĀ
One thing you'll findĀ
Most people that you meetĀ
Just about out their mind
They try to tell you how to liveĀ
They try to tell you how to dieĀ
They tell you don't get too low, but don't get too highĀ
Best thing you can do is don't listen too closeĀ
Walk on to your own beatĀ
Keep 'em on they toes
Truer words Iāve never heard spoken or sang.
This is very conclusive with what Iāve experienced and thought in my own head: feeling the tug of all people trying to influence every decision and thought up here in my brain. Big and small.
somewhere in there is my own voice, but can it be distinguished from all the other noice up there?