The happy place

This here is the space into which I put some of the thoughts which have been gathering inside my head. Mostly mundane stuff as I am not that original

If a song ever had sage advice in the lyrics, it’s “Keep 'Em on They Toes” by “Brent Cobb”.

I heard that track, really heard it, when I was out jogging and it struck me how true it rang.

If you ever grow up  One thing you'll find  Most people that you meet  Just about out their mind

They try to tell you how to live  They try to tell you how to die  They tell you don't get too low, but don't get too high  Best thing you can do is don't listen too close  Walk on to your own beat  Keep 'em on they toes

Truer words I’ve never heard spoken or sang.

This is very conclusive with what I’ve experienced and thought in my own head: feeling the tug of all people trying to influence every decision and thought up here in my brain. Big and small.

somewhere in there is my own voice, but can it be distinguished from all the other noice up there?

Well hello there

I’m living in the now, now, listening to the Phantom of the Opera and yes it is a masterpiece.

Laying on the bed with the cats (I’m very allergic) and hoping that everything in the world will be better soon.

Feeling very content.

Life is very fine in moments like this and by writing this down I hope to be able to conjure again this special feeling or at least to be able to remind myself of these moments which are worth living for.

Ok take care

This day will never come back.

It’s spent. One day closer to death.

Good riddance.

Can’t wait for this work week to be over so I can do some fun stuff.

Like one example could be to sleep. And then do some various choirs in the house.

I’m also planning to drink some strong coffee.

I should do some stuff which makes me happy too; I’ll go for a run listening to some upbeat music.

Yep some sleep, a long run, some coffee and upbeat music. I need that.

Happy Valentine’s Day everybody here I got love enough to go round 🫶 especially to the lonesome and heartbroken 💔. For you it may be some comfort that I saw on a TV show “Romanovs” that the heart is much like a bone, it’ll heal back stronger 💪💪💪 so hang in there, ok?

It doesn’t feel so bad today even though everything is almost exactly the same as it was yesterday, isn’t that something? Some imbalance in the yin yang and then it can feel bad for no apparent reason. What is that?

Nothing new to report. Boards of Canada you say? Only listened to Roygbiv. Felt really clever when I figured out it was the colours of the rainbow.

Ok have it so nice and I’ll write more soon ✌️

I’ve been denied access to my happy place lately. In my head. Like there’s some wet blanket over my fire or something, so now it’s just a steam smoke I can’t smell and it’s sort of hazy and I can’t see very far.

That’s what uncertainty does I think. I am ill equipped to deal with these emotions but they come and go like all things do.

There’s no reason for me to feel this way, really. I’ve got so much going for me and I am a healthy somewhat beautiful man with a beautiful family and a lot of people around me who I care about.

It’s a funny thing that: due to some chemical imbalance or bad thought getting stuck in the brain it can cause a discord in the system, but then the trick is to do with it what some mollusks do with grains of sand similarly stuck in them: a pearl.

That’s what great artists do, I think: take the bad thoughts and make of them a pearl.

Speaking of which, I really like Perl. It’s a quite potent scripting language I really think it’s cool and portable. And it can be esoteric and really hard to read but also very readable, it’s up to you. You are the king when you write Perl code.

But I’m gonna take the step and learn C#. It’s on my bucket list. Think it’s the only thing on there.

Hello buenivie welcome! Did you like that cabaret musical? With the France in the twenties and what a special time and place and then the nazis came.

I saw that one on VHS with two of my sisters friends who I liked a lot when we were watching my grandmothers goats and chicken etc. For some reason it feels very important to point out that we had potato chips with dill flavour. I cannot explain why it matters, but it does.

I put this memory here so I don’t forget because for some reason this memory has a special meaning to me and is a reminder of times which can never come back.

It feels good to be alive. Blood pumping round the system and I don’t even know my blood type. I don’t need to know my blood type unless I need an emergency top up and the paramedics don’t have my journal or time to run a blood test. Maybe I ought to find out what type I have. Just in case. I’m pretty sure it’s not C#.

Point is I don’t need to know how all of them organs work for them to do so, and that’s pretty awesome.

I barely know how anything works really.

It may be enough that I know enough to (for the most times) pull my weight within the very limited scope which is my life. Then through some miracle of Organization other people do the same and together we are societies on different levels, working much the same as the cells and organs in a human body does.

I assume, like I said, I don’t have a clue.

I don’t even know my own blood type.

Anyhow

As far as we know, we have this life.

There could be others. Maybe we reincarnate and maybe we don’t. Maybe there is a heaven and a hell, and/or a Valhalla and a Hel, or whatever, or maybe there’s this one short life followed by eternal death; we don’t know.

All facts known to us is that we’ve been gifted this one life, and we have to live with it; Deal with our mistakes and take the consequences of our actions, because there is no undo button in this life. (We have to manually try to make things right).

Every decision we do make shuts the doors to other possibilities which might never open again, and we cannot move back, only forward.

There’s also a very real risk we could be struck dead by lightning or some internal organ failure, or succumb to some freak accident or whatever, because life is brittle. It can be taken away from us any time.

Life is short and brittle but death is possibly eternal.

Remember that people tend to regret the things they didn’t do rather than the mistakes they’ve made (this I’ve read on the Internet) and that’s the true meaning of YOLO, Carpe Diem and memento mori is just that (this is my understanding anyhow. I am of about average intellect so you might want to do your own research and teach your own conclusions about this).

Looking at all of these facts, it makes me really want to go give C# a shot. Finally. It does seem to have many nifty features and the syntax looks really neat, and it’s general purpose and runs on my Ubuntu box, but I’ve just never gotten around to it.

I’ll give it a shot later.

Hello good evening, morning or whatever. Depends.

I’ve got some freak allergic fit today and it knocked me out but I rise as I always do. Been trying to help some of my friends who got fired last week cause well I wanna help them out cause they are my friends and basically I’ve been trying to see if I could help them find new jobs or whatever, and I’ve been trying to find a new job for my own self too, cause I think they were bludgeoned with the ham fist out into the cold, uncertain times, (bleak), and while the axe forgets, the tree doesn’t, and the trees friends neither.

And indeed indeed we do have a turkey inside. A turkey feeling blue is in a temporary hospital ward inside.

Hello everybody been out job hunting these past few days.

It’s been a bit barren, but I’ve got a powerful spade and have maybe found some few promising wells.

Well it’s a bit exhausting it is, but as is the case for most things worth having; you have to fight for them.

And telling people about yourself and how you work in a team and whether you speak English is basically like going to a shrink you don’t have to pay for, so there’s always that. However all of these situations involves disappointing someone which I don’t like very much.

It’s this yin yang which gets to me, also the stress of selecting right input device when joining teams meetings, it’s defaulting to the mysterious Default device which is some sort of nonexistent void device which I blame on Ubuntu but some people might say to do something in udev to do something with pulseaudio or some other system-setting or some sound setting I haven’t found and which might fall out during next system update but anyhow yes yes I will look into that…

More of this will come clear next week or the one after next.

Thanks for listening stayed tune

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