The happy place

I remember sitting exactly like this in the very same sofa I do now, and it was Sunday and I wasn’t looking forward to Monday, and now it’s exactly like that again. That’s a déjà vu right there, and another five days to deal with somehow. If I think about it, I did the very same thing, and I felt the very same thing the week before and the one before that.

I make a decent enough salary, I’ll save some money and when the time comes I’ll make my move and break out of this loop, because it’s more like a downward spiral.

Speaking of downward spirals, in my youth I was really into Nine Inch Nails and there were many texts about drug abuse but that flew over my head at the time because I guess it was hard to relate as I spent my time reading comic books or drawing or tinkering with the computer. Even going to parties wasn’t on my radar, and anyhow he (Trent Reznor) sounded angry and/or sad, and that was enough (I did understand the lyrics for Closer though) but anyhow I don’t listen to that no more. I also had green hair at one point and it really accentuated my pimples. Green hair listening to The Downward Spiral in the Walkman but not yet smoking the cigarettes. That was me before I was happy like I am now.

So the objective then, is to stop this downward spiral from reaching down to how I felt inside at the time when I was listening to downward spiral. To somehow point the spiral up.