The happy place

another week cycle is nearing its end. It’s too cold for crocs outside, where the half moon stands pale and alone on a dark blue sky. The white ground is covered by hard-packed snow. Slippery like a sprung trap.

Because of my fitness class, where I arrived last minute to grab the last step board — there weren’t any spots left, except at the very front where you see the instructor only from the side; ”it doesn’t matter”, I said, ”I’m so good at this” — I got a mild headache. There wasn’t any time to fill my bottle.

And I have done some laundry

Some things I am thinking about is that my brain and my feelings have been running out of sync for a long time. Either I realise that I should be angry, instead I have a guilty conscience. Other times I feel strong reactions in my gut long before my brain understands why.

It’s exactly like in Neon Genesis Evangelion: an Eva pilot might face smilar synchronisation problems when running the Eva Unit! Sometimes the pilot is even rejected.

It’s exactly like this right now.

But that’s just how it is.

I’ll try to feel a bit sorry for myself now.

I think I have too much going for me to succeed.

I’m the luckiest man I know!