The happy place

Today I witnessed such an object: the HP laser printer. Some consumer type model which was plugged into the PC with an USB cable, but which had suddenly stopped mid print, shining an amber light.

Apparently the fool thing will only print out error diagnostic printouts until it is connected to the wi-fi.

It’s got toner and paper, is detected by the PC, it can obviously print, but until it can reach the Internet, either through Ethernet or Wi-Fi, it will consume the printing queue into the void.

There’s some pure evil going on at HP in the consumer printer department: Destroy the environment by creating such godforsaken products; greedy fingers reaching into the consumers WI-FI for some dubious purposes with one hand, groping for their wallets with the other, holding their products hostage until they get their dirty way.

It’s greed.

A death sin.

Likely it needs to be on the Internet so that HP can make it stop working at will.

Not only is this satanic machine consumer hostile, it’s also a really shitty product: Fingering it the way stipulated in the manual does not make it reconnect and print. It’s just stuck in a loop of some sort; the firmware as corrupted as whoever wrote it.

This printer is a manifestation of moral bankruptcy, and it’s fascinating in a way: It’s a creation of the same type of perverted mind who designed those medieval torture instruments you can see on display in the “Museum Of Torture Instruments“ in Tallinn.

I really like Tallinn!