The happy place

Belly full of food, head full of memories: I feel like some sort of treasure chest right now.

Some precious chest.

So you know how time slows down when waiting for the micro oven; 3 minutes can seem like an eternity? It’s like that for me at work right now, waiting for the day to end. Was waiting 30 minutes, looking at the clock only to see the only two minutes have passed. That’s like a small punch in the gut.

It’s like that sometimes.

This was a mighty fine weekend. There’ve been some great findings on the flea market I forgot to write about earlier amidst the excitement of me finding the coffee filters.

I found a 2:1 sound system with a powerful subwoofer for the PC for a mere €10. That’s a bargain if I ever seen one.

So yeah that’s just one example of how lucky I am.

I am a very complex figure, however; for even though I am very lucky (apparently) and stable like a fortress, and generally very content with everything, there is a compartment of my brain with a special room.

That room is often inhabited by some or other festering anxiety; if it’s not some fatal or nonfatal disease I worry about, it’s some other things I shall not name here for fear of summoning them back up there again.

I don’t really know how to deal with this; fixing and handling the individual worries just vacants the room and lets the next one in.

Maybe I love life too much, and cling to it too hard, suffocating somehow something something, not sure.

I bought two packets of coffee filters.

We used to have one of them reusable filters. Was a pita to clean between usages.

There is some resemblance between coffee filters and diapers, except the coffee filter is designed to let the liquid through (that’s the whole point) whereas diapers do it only accidentally.

OK so not so much resemblance after all.

There are some thoughts who looks promising but upon pursuing them, you come to a dead end, like I just did.

Thinking is a tiresome process as it can lead you to dead ends or even in circles and sometimes you get lost in your own head.

Being alive is tiresome for sure. That’s why we require so much sleep.

#deep

Good morning everyone!

What about today?

It’s mild outside. it’s thawing and therefore the roads are coated with ice. The snow lies heavy and wet on the ground.

Although you cannot see the sun behind the clouds, it’s there for sure or else we would all be dead.

That’s some food for thought right there; even though we cannot always see them, the good forces are at work always.

Anyway, today is ripe with opportunities. Been looking forward to this weekend, because I have come to detest my job. Don’t tell anyone but I’ve gotten a new one. Start date is not exactly set so I’m keeping a low profile for now. Biding my time.

We’re all gonna go to flea markets this weekend. And buy coffee filters.

Clarification: The coffee filters we’ll not buy those at the flea markets.

That’s probably this weekend’s most important quest.

#jounal

The global push back for remote work is comparable to what happened to the women after they took part of the workforce during the great world wars, but the cat is out of the box, and when the recession ends like it always does, it will put an end to the fool policies by micro management and control freaks.

Today I witnessed such an object: the HP laser printer. Some consumer type model which was plugged into the PC with an USB cable, but which had suddenly stopped mid print, shining an amber light.

Apparently the fool thing will only print out error diagnostic printouts until it is connected to the wi-fi.

It’s got toner and paper, is detected by the PC, it can obviously print, but until it can reach the Internet, either through Ethernet or Wi-Fi, it will consume the printing queue into the void.

There’s some pure evil going on at HP in the consumer printer department: Destroy the environment by creating such godforsaken products; greedy fingers reaching into the consumers WI-FI for some dubious purposes with one hand, groping for their wallets with the other, holding their products hostage until they get their dirty way.

It’s greed.

A death sin.

Likely it needs to be on the Internet so that HP can make it stop working at will.

Not only is this satanic machine consumer hostile, it’s also a really shitty product: Fingering it the way stipulated in the manual does not make it reconnect and print. It’s just stuck in a loop of some sort; the firmware as corrupted as whoever wrote it.

This printer is a manifestation of moral bankruptcy, and it’s fascinating in a way: It’s a creation of the same type of perverted mind who designed those medieval torture instruments you can see on display in the “Museum Of Torture Instruments“ in Tallinn.

I really like Tallinn!

I went running after all thru some mighty force of will I went in the sleet and ran like something slow like a tank or something, something with lots of fuel like a WW2 battleship, and it helped get rid of the darkness which has been marinating in me.

I think I sweated it out, cause my wife said I stank like a wet dog when I got back, and me not having any sense of smell I took her word for it and will let clothes soak in vinegar.

Allegedly that helps remove the stink of inner darkness.

Today it’s looking bad for my planned run as I don’t have no snowshoes and it’s starting to get a bit deep.

Too bad too bad.

Aah to feel the life in me, what a blessing isn’t that?

Right now I should be asleep but amn’t, and it probably is my own fault, but it doesn’t feel like it, cause I have been trying for hours.

Likely it’s cause I’m powered by some very high performance engines like a nuclear submarine, and to bring such a mighty system to a full stop every night just isn’t feasible.

It could also be (and this explanation I don’t like as much) that I’m somewhat neurotic.

Probably it’s a little bit of both.

A comfort I have to hold on to, anyway, is that I’m awesome.

I’ve got a nice dog who is both small and cute. She’s always there for me when I need her, which is always.

I always need her.