The happy place

Hey

I’m thinking

Thinking

Do you know?

Like this; it’s like this exactly:

It’s been nagging at my brain:

There was a can of worms opened up inside of my brain — a swarm of realisations — like they are symbolising something serious like cognitive dissonance — wreaking havoc — as they shine a new worm light on everything.

And it’s ugly !

But even so, they try to crawl back into the jar, to seal themselves from me, because they hurt up there. They hurt me, and so I may subconsciously be compelling them to crawl back,

Like there’s a blind spot where the jar is: that’s where they crawl.

But I’ve written it all down!!

Even so, it’s like when I read the things I’ve written, it’s like the realisation comes anew…

Why is it like that? Somethings not right up there!

I wish to mend my inner construct, but I can’t as long as these worms of wisdom are there in the crowded darkness in their jar; I do not want to regress into my former shape, when this realisation cost me so much, do you know?

I will mend, it will be wabi sabi.

This is the hill I will die on.