About making changes

When I was young I wasn’t as scared as I am now; I could jump from the trampoline 5 meter no problem, I went on the roller coaster and I was unfazed by changes.

I didn’t have much that I valued as much back then; so I think it was I hadn’t as much to lose.

It’s not right to say that I wasn’t used to failure or anything; my whole life until late teenage years can be described as having been one long failure.

I wasn’t very happy back then.

That’s why I really liked the count of Monte Christo, the theme about happiness in there:

There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness.

Because now I am happy and very rich as in having much that I value in my life, so maybe that’s why it scares me this new job I’m gonna start after summer: I don’t necessarily like anything interfering with my yin yang now. I felt compelled, however, to do something about what I perceived as being a downward trajectory, and that’s all there is to it.

Anyhow

It’s such an amazing book, The Count of Monte Christo. There are distinct parts and adventures in there. Dantes spends so much time in that dungeon having been wronged and all that, and then he serves the revenge ice cold. Of course he comes out a changed man.