The happy place

Some important things happened today which I must write down!

Firstly, when we went in the Volvo to buy some groceries and recycle, the moon stood full on the night sky, bigger than usual, full and with a bright shine.

On our way back home, the only cloud in the sky, thick and dark, covered it, but the cool moonshine still is leaking upwards and downwards; not even this black cloud could stop it today.

That is a powerful omen! I need this right now!

Secondly, the I have got my (sense of) smell back! When I first got the medicine this fall, all of the snells of the city which went through my nostrils filled my body and mind with impressions! I will never forget that day, the sun stood high and I felt that I could navigate the city just by smell.

But then they went away so slowly that I wasn’t sure until even the coffee smelled of nothing.

Now they’re back but weak — but back — but still I already take them for granted

The rich taste of food like tomatoes or cod or even potatoes, the smell of oregano and garlic;

Of onion fried in olive oil

I already take all of this for granted!

I’ve always considered myself the luckiest man alive.

But it takes just a grain of sand for the machinery to stop.

I’m thinking about something my therapist said, about me being so eager to forgive, that I’m so understanding, that there is a place for anger, and to stop and realise that I’ve been wronged,

That perhaps my issue is that I’ve always considered what problems I’ve had mere grains of sand, where in reality they deserve a little bit more respect than that,

That they deserve to be taken seriously

Because I do.