The happy place

Hello I haven’t slept I have better things to do.

Indeed.

Like coughing: Endless nights of coughing. Aren’t they long?

And yet, the terrible feeling of waking up; the nausea, subsided and I felt ready to face another day head on which is my modus operandi, (just like Solomon Kane.).

I have some cortisone, some nicotine and caffeine in the system now, which I believe is why I’m feeling this energy. Quite a lot.

Today on going home from work after many a profound thought, many great ideas, but little to no work done in the traditional sense

in fact it was hard to not only focus but also to think anything. Which is interesting then how come I get such vivid visions in my head? It doesn’t add up? Such strong texts (the veil is getting thinner) I save for my book. Wait and see!

Anyway, today on going home, as I opened the door making my exit, I was overwhelmed by impressions: The mild air, streets sprinkled with orange, yellow and red leaves, illuminated by the bright shining sun, but mostly I was awestruck by a really intense sweet smell, which turned out originating from a churros kiosk some hundred meters further down the street.

Standing erect in the sunshine, feeling all of this, seeing all of this, hearing whatever I was listening to (In Mourning) I had a feeling that I was for some reason getting special treatment.

Following the scent of the churros, I was bombarded by others; of cinnamon buns from the bakery, the intense alcoholic smell of windshield washing fluid from a car passing by at great speed.

There were smells everywhere: of shampoo, of fabric softener, of my own sweat smelling of barbecued pork. All the way home I went in this fashion, sometimes confused as I was trying to trace all of the scents.

Somehow I felt like daredevil, he is blind but he senses the world with type of a batlike radar. It was similar to that but my radar were made of smells.

I felt supercharged like in fact a type of super hero with elevated everything.

And

Then I had sushi, the miso soup smelled strongly of I think umami, the sushis smelled of fish and everything tasted so good, so strongly that it was like the best meal I ever had, and I don’t particularly like sushi.

I love sushi now.

I know that this sense of smell is borrowed to me and bought by the cortisone treatment. I know that it will soon again fade, as all things do. Even as we all do. But here and now it serves only as a reminder to write it down and save, and rather than mourn what will soon be taken back, give thanks for days such as this.

Like I read this once in Count of Monte Christo and it really stuck with me it’s that

There is neither happiness nor unhappiness in this world; there is only the comparison of one state with another. Only a man who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss. It is necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.....the sum of all human wisdom will be contained in these two words: Wait and Hope.